By Constance van Niekerk
I just don’t understand it. Why don’t men ever listen to women? Last week I asked my brother to call me to confirm whether he was home so I could visit him. And yes, you guessed it. He didn’t! His lame excuse was that he forgot to call. That surely is always a euphemism for ‘he couldn’t be bothered!’ On our way from my brother’s house, my husband was driving and we got lost. “Why?” you may want to ask. Simple! He was driving under the influence. Did I not tell him we better spend the night then drive back in the morning when he has sobered up? Of course I did. But did he listen? No. I even switched on the GPS to help. Unfortunately that didn’t help much. Remember it’s a woman’s voice talking. When she said, “In 500m turn left,” he immediately turned left. I was so puzzled, but I kept quiet. Why bother asking. Then a few metres down the road he started complaining about my GPS and how it’s completely useless. Talking about getting lost, have you ever seen a man ask for directions? Men would rather spend the whole night and day driving in circles, until they run out of fuel than to ask for directions! “Honey, let’s stop that security guard and ask for directions.” “What for? I know where I’m going.” Then one hour later, “Honey, look there is a Petrol Station. Let’s go ask there.” “We are almost there. I told you I know where I am going. Just stop putting pressure on me.” Then another one hour passes. Then by a stroke of luck, he finally arrives at his destination and goes, “I told you I knew what I was doing.” Yeah, sure he knew where he was going: taking three hours to get somewhere that could have taken you only an hour or less. But hey, that’s men for you! They know everything. “Honey, please fix the pipes under the sink.” “Yeah, sure I will do that as soon as I finish playing this level.” A week later, “Love, please fix the pipes under the sink.” “I will do it in a minute.” Then, a month later, “Honey, the pipes are leaking.” “I will fix them later this afternoon.” Another month later hubby arrives to find a pool of water in the kitchen, “Why didn’t you tell me the pipes were leaking? Look at this mess! Women!” “Honey, I think we must buy electricity online. It saves time.” Then he replies, “What’s the difference, we can just buy it from the supermarket like we do. A fortnight later after work, he will come and say, “Love, we must buy electricity online. Paul from work said he does that. It sure saves time.” “Oh, really.” And that is all you can say. Yesterday my other brother went to see the doctor. I nicely and politely asked him to call me as soon as he came back from the doctor. “Yes, definitely Sis, I will do that.” Until now, I am still waiting for that call, although I am not holding my breath! Why on earth do men not listen to women? Even my sons do not listen to me. If I tell the youngest to go and put on a jacket, he just says, “Yeah Ma.” Twenty minutes later I have to repeat the same instruction. Another twenty minutes later, it’s still the same story. But, if my husband tells him to do something he goes immediately.
How is that? So, I went to this website, http://webcenters.netscape.compuserve.com/me/package.jsp?name=fte/womenspeak/womenspeak and what I read there just made me laugh. ‘Men’s brains are not designed to listen to women’s voices,’ reads the article. ‘But guys have no trouble at all hearing each other because men use a much simpler brain mechanism at the back of the brain to decipher another men’s voice and recognise it as speech. The female voice is actually more complex than the male voice…” This quite interesting article says that the bizarre side effect is that, ‘These findings help explain why people who suffer hallucinations usually hear male voices. It’s just too hard for the brain to create a false feminine voice as accurately as it can create a false masculine brain.’ Interesting.