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Lifestyle

JUST TO BE CLEAR MAGENTS!

By Stanley Gaba, Vanderbijlpark SA

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Stanley Gaba

I just despise “uncultured” men! These are guys you normally find visiting different families during their customary ‘feastivities’ whether by invitation or not. Some of these visits though, so early in the morning! Then you make so much noise, cause so much havoc as if you own the place! When invited by your friend or colleague, just behave normally and be decent. “Uncultured” men are these big boys ranging from the late twenties to the mid- 50s who still find it cool to:

  1. Wear a hat or cap inside a house, not even in his own home. It is not raining or sunny inside the house. Just take the bloody, dirty hat off and be a decent man for once in your life. A man who has respect for his norms, values, customs and standards should know better than to wear a hat indoors!! Whether in your own house or someone else’s, whether in church or in the boardroom, it’s good manners to remove your hat indoors.
  2. Wear their trousers below the bums, what a nonsensical trend! It is plain annoying, especially if done by men over the age of 30. For those that do not know, dropping pants is a sign used by male prisoners in jail to show that they are ready to have sex with another male. It originated in American jails, and IT IS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT! It’s just disgusting!

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From Google.com

  1. Just attend a funeral and be on their way, not assisting in any way the bereaved family! That is very unAfrican! Men must help at funerals, cut firewood, just do something for Heaven’s sake! Men dress up in suites, claiming to be paying their last “respects” while drinking ‘ingudu’ early in the morning and speeding their cars to be the first ones in the queue for food, without knowing who slaughtered the beast. A sign of respecting the deceased and the mourning family means helping them out in slaughtering the beast and back-filling of the graves. Bathong! Kanti vele why are you going there? If you cannot do this please stay at home! A funeral cannot be equated to a Durban July fun-ferry tog!
image from news.bbcimg.co.uk

image from news.bbcimg.co.uk

  1. Fail to show up in the morning for customary umncimbi, mokete or umgidi when invited but have the nerve to avail yourself for a bottle of whiskey in the afternoon with your friends in tow. If you do not show up when invited at the time invited, please stay away completely. Do not bring your uncultured manners or lack thereof to others.

  2. Ask if they can smoke inside my house! This is quite disrespectful, shameful and disgusting to say the least. Take your bad habits to your mom’s. It is just obvious that you can not smoke inside someone else’s house, especially one who does not even smoke! So, asking is not being polite, it’s an insult to my hospitality!

  3. Push and shove in queues for food and dish up like someone who last ate during the last visit of Jonah in Nineveh at weddings, funerals and other festivities. You will get food and if it is finished then it is! Honestly, there is no reason to behave like cows that are being pushed from behind or that have been injected with a poisonous substance and now can not come to consciousness.

  4. Enjoy and appreciate ‘freebies’. It is a sure sign that you cannot afford them yourself, just do what is right at the time, what your pocket dictates at the moment. I dislike and disassociate myself from guys who just like everything handed to them on a silver platter free of charge!

  5. Walking in dirty shoes! I do not trust guys, that do not polish their shoes! Unpolished shoes, that’s just a sign of carelessness! If a guy cannot polish his shoes, what are the chances that he cleans his hands after using the bathroom? Just asking myself……

  6. Relieve themselves anywhere that takes to their fancy! This business of some guys parking cars, especially on long trips, answering nature anywhere and anyhow is unsavoury. Some do this right infront of children, next to schools! Some infront of young girls! There must be a law against this! Especially taxi drivers who park at schools the entire day! Surely there must be toilets at the school premises for taxi drivers to use. After answering such a call, these men will continue with eating and drinking as if everything is cool…….I hate handshakes with guys!

  7. Dig for diamonds in public! Handkerchiefs are key, magents! Nose poking is unsavoury tog!

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About Editor

Constance van Niekerk is a South African-based Zimbabwean-born creative writer, poet, music lover, spoken word artist, freelance writer, blogger and educator. She has contributed to several anthologies and published her own collection, Echoes of My Heart: A Poetry Collection available for purchase on all Amazon Stores Worldwide. She is also Editor at ZimOnlineNews. Follow her on Twitter : @convanniekerk Connect with her on Facebook and Linkedin.

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Echoes of My Heart: A Poetry Collection by Constance van Niekerk

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