By Constance van Niekerk in SA
The Social Media is abuzz with videos of Stunner’s wife Olinda Chapel Chideme’s rantings – a woman scorned! Stunner, a Zimbabwean award winning musician whose real name is Desmond Chideme has apparently cheated on his wife, a UK based business woman.
In one of the videos, Chapel threatens to commit suicide and in one, she ‘pours her heart out’ amongst tears and sobs. She gives an account of the things she bought for her celebrity husband and how she lavished money on him. Not to sound cruel, but I wish to ask if she was forced to spend money on him. Did anybody put a gun on her head and ordered her to buy the ‘silver Audi’, ‘Mercedes Benz’ and the ‘every car he drove this past year’?
Was she buying his love? Did she do all those things to buy his loyalty?
As a woman, I’ve also fallen in love and done stupid things, but when love goes sour; we must count our losses and move on as we lose our minds when we fall in love. When you do something for someone, you do willingly in the name of love. When that love is not reciprocated we should not cry foul as if we were expecting it just because of the material things we have bought the people, the smart phones and the fancy cars.
I’m not kicking a fellow woman while she’s down, but unfortunately, since she has aired her dirty laundry in public, everyone is bound to give their two cent worth opinion and I will not be left behind. I’m actually concerned about the future generation of women. I’m worried what kind of legacy we are leaving to our daughters. If she is to commit suicide over a man who is clearly a loser with no self-respect, how does she want her children to remember her? According to Olinda on the video, Stunner had been bringing girlfriends and sleeping with them in her house. Olinda went for ‘weight-loss surgery’ which almost killed her ‘to make him happy’ she said. Where is her self-esteem? How can a financially independent woman tolerate such abuse from a man who according to her is as poor as a church mouse, with nothing to his name (rombe)? Why?
My advice to the future generation, they are many strong and courageous women of our time. Women who have loved with all their hearts, from the depth of their souls and gave all they had but were betrayed by the men they loved and worshipped. These women locked themselves in their closets and cried their hearts out and begged God to take them. They tore their clothes, even regretted ever being born, had mental breakdowns in private and in the presence of loved ones. When they were all cried out, they put on their makeup, rocked their high heels and went out in public with their heads held high. They smiled to the world and said, “I’m a survivor”. They moved on, recovered their losses, stood tall like the queens they are and are still soaring high like eagles. After-all, you can’t keep a good ‘man’ down and this is no reference to Stunner!
Many women have been hurt, because it is in our nature to love wholeheartedly money or no money. It is the females’ folly to trust too much. The Jolly Brothers said, “You got to be a conscious man, when you fall in love.” In this era we need ‘The Jolly Sisters’ to tell us, ‘You got to be a conscious woman, when you fall in love’ Olinda even confesses that she was warned that ‘Des’ was a gold digger, but ‘she stood by her man’ and tried to show the world that he is ‘misunderstood’.
I sympathise with a fellow sister but, bitterness will only kill you from inside. The only person those videos are embarrassing is the person who is talking, the one who was taken for a ride. My advice, delete them, count your losses. Get up woman! And start again. Remember to be a conscious woman when you fall in love.
My final word of advice is for men like Stunner, who find a loving woman who spares no cent to spoil them because of love then you treat her like rubbish, one day she will leave you. All the material things will disappear too. She will recover her losses, but you will always stay as you are a big fat pathetic loser!